The Value of Sharing

Some mothers have taken the concept of sharing a bit too far.

The other day, a little girl had brought her doll stroller to the playground, and my son was really envious. It had handles and wheels and it was easy to push around, a concept he is very fascinated by these days. So he tried to borrow it. But the girl started whining "Nooo!' as he approached and he decided to back off.

Her mother got involved and said "Yes, yes, you have to share" and pushed the stroller towards us.

My son had already picked up a ball to play with instead. But the girls mother persistently placed the stroller in front of him and said  "I want him to play with this, she needs to learn how to share."

He accepted the offer and started pushing the stroller tirelessly around in circles at the playground.

When the girl was ready to go home it was my sons turn to scream "Nooooo!" and the forced separation with the stroller released one of those "turn-into-a-potato-sack-I-will-die-if-you-do-this-to-me" tantrums, rolling around on the ground, screaming.

Thanks for sharing. Really worth the experience.

We live in the decades of revolutionary sharing. Sharing can be liberating for societies, but captivating for your mind. Sometimes it seems like people need to share to justify their experiences. As if you don't share it, you can't claim it's happening. Or - what is the point of experiencing if it can't be shared?

At the playground, I believe kids are pretty good at sharing experiences and sorting things out between them without adult interference. But sometimes you see kids deliberately stealing toys others are having fun with, or pile up all the cool toys they can find only to deny their playmates access to them. Then I believe adult interference is in its place.

Some would say say these kids need to improve their "sharing" skills. But you could also just call it bad behavior. Sharing seems to have become an associate with good. The frequent appearance of this word and the practice of it by some parents makes it seem like the most important life skill a child can learn.

If you're participating on social media, you're receiving whatever other people would like to share. Receiving a lot of crap is part of the deal to be able to get the benefits from it. We happily sign up and accept all the crap to be a part of the network, to belong and to be allowed to share our own stuff. The value of sharing has become the sharers domain. You don't share to be nice to others, you share because it makes you feel good about yourself. You share to be noticed, leave a footprint.

I think it is time to look at the value of keeping certain things to yourself. We don't have to share everything all the time. It's ok to demand some privacy and peace alone with something you're busy working on, looking at, playing with, experiencing. It is valuable for your own happiness sake, to be able to appreciate an experience without requiring "like" tags from an audience.

So if a little bully comes up to my son on the playground and tries to steal his toy, I'm not the mother who turn to my boy and tell him: "share, be nice ... share!" I smile and tell the intruder in a calm, but firm enough tone "stop, you may borrow this toy when my son is finished playing with it." In my head I'm thinking "get lost you little devil, find your own fun." 

Thanks for reading. Please feel free to share.